THE BOOGIEMAN IN CUSTODY

I was doing my 12a-8a and at about 4:30a, my partner and myself received a robbery in progress call over the dispatch.  So of coarse, we hit the lights and sirens and went to the scene.  We arrive and we see about 13 cars out there with lights going.  We pull up, leave the lights going (cut the siren) and get out with our guns drawn.  We squat to the front line of cars and peak over one of the doors.  There's a man in the middle of the street, buck-naked, dancing, saying, "I stoled a boogie from my nose.  I stoled a boogie from my nose."  We eventually put him in custody and find out that he made the 911 call on himself.  GENIUS!

"As I was doing a solo in my patrol car, driving down this very narrow street, I spotted a man that I was 90% sure was wanted in three homicides. I kept my eye on him, as he was grouching behind a car, I found the right moment to get out of my patrol car, so I quickly opened the car door, and took two steps as I was thinking how the capture of this punk will bring me a citation, and of course bring up my ego, after the second step BANG!...No that wasn't shots fired, that was the sound of my head hitting the telephone poll dead on with great impact"

"I was assigned a patrol car on a 4-12 shift, as I tried exiting from the crowed parking area I accidentally hit a parked patrol car, oh my God was the first thing I yelled out, the second thing I heard was "What the hell is wrong with you are you drunk" as I backed up, and again hitting the CO's car as he tried to exit the lot.

I am normally a good driver..

"Where is your gun officer?

I forgot it a Vidgam Sir."I was in a hurry, and late and needed a pair of pants. I rushed to Vidgam and tried on a pair that fit, and rushed out to the call of duty. Two hours went by and I still did not noticed, nor did my partner, or anyone else that I had an empty holster. After about 3 hours I get a call form Vidgam. "Hey buddy, forgot something? The first thought that cross my mine was that I forgot to pay him. He ask me if their were any supervisors around, I said no, he said good, come and pick up your weapon you left it in the fitting room. I was so happy that he new the "Officer forgot his gun somewhere" procedure, and not call my boss".. Thanks V.

MORE TO COME IN A FEW DAYS

"I got a call that a man was breaking into pay phones using a hanger. What they do is stuff the pay phone coin slot with paper, when an unsuspected caller inserts a coin the coin never makes it to the coin box instead it remains blocked by the paper. The coin thief then takes a clothes hanger pushes it down the coin slot, and bingo! all the coin that were inserted by people who unsuccessfully tried to make a call comes tumbling down. I spotted the black male suspect who was wearing a long trench coat, a ladies blonde wig, and an alien holloween mask. I remained low key as he went on with his little hanger in slot trick, I pulled over beside him, and just before I can get out of the car the suspect points a clothes hanger at me, and on the tip of the hanger is a real eye of a pig with nerve endings still attached as the suspect screams out "I see you officer" of course I laugh, but we took it to forensics. Hey it could of been human, the eye I mean".

Not from Philly Cop.

Wise guy.

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained another picture -- of handcuffs

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front (go) to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.

Click.

The Oregon woman called 911 to ask that a "a cutie
pie" sheriff's deputy return to her house. Two
Washington County deputies had knocked on her door
after neighbors phoned-in a noise complaint.
After they left, Dudash phoned 911 but admitted to the dispatcher that she just wanted to meet the deputy again. And she got a date all right -- a date to appear in court.

The deputy returned and arrested Dudash for misusing
the 911 emergency number.

She now faces up to a year in jail and a
six-thousand-dollar fine.